Not all hot guys have a six pack, or can even touch their toes.   And here are my selections, strangely enough most of them are named John or one of it’s derivatives.  

*A special note: Seth Rogan would have made this list but now he’s getting all buff so….no list for you Seth! 

*Also, honorable mention goes out to Artie Lange who would have been way up this list if he were to ever comb his hair, change his clothes, or get off drugs, cause he’s handsome, and funny, and rich.

Now to the finalists.

10.  John Belushi-Original cast member of SNL, star of Animal House and Blues Brothers.  He’s the gold standard that every overweight comedian gets compared to. Hilarious, adorable, and he sings and dances, always a plus.

9  John Goodman-Forget the dad he played in Roseanne, although he was sweet, it wasn’t his best look.  Early 90’s grunge band members aside, no one looks good in flannel.  However, few men can make the villian more appealing then the hero.  Think Barton Fink, The Big Lewowski, Evan Almighty, O Brother Where Art Thou….who doesn’t love a bear?  This guys hottness is under-appreciated. 

8.  Jack Black-The second triple threat to make the list.  Musician, Comedian, Actor, and strangely alluring.  You actually believe that he could win Kate Winslet’s heart.  He’s also got that weird thing where his eye brows move independently.  Awesome.

7.  Forest Whitaker- He gained 50 pounds to his already plump frame for his Oscar winning role in Last King of Scotland.  Forest makes you feel ashamed that you thought his portrayal of a merciless dictator was kinda sexy.  Obviously he’s a kick ass actor, but, he’s also the director of Waiting to Exhale, one of the few fabulous movies out there starring women. 

6.  Jon Favreau-He was hot in Friends as the bored rich dude who becomes a UFC fighter for kicks.  He was hot in Swingers a film he both wrote and co-starred in with ten pounds too light to be on this list superstar, Vince Vaughn. And finally, he was the director of last years best movie Iron Man.  I mean he made Gwyneth Paltrow seem… not uptight. 

5.  Orson Wells- This is a list of all time, and he was so talented, so confident, so hot.  Citizen Kane.  Look at it again before you start calling me names.

4. Jackie Gleason- No. I am not crazy.  Watch, “The Hustler.”  Jackie’s engaging portrayal of Minnesota Fats  makes you tear your eyes off of Paul Newman which is damn near impossible.  It’s true.

3. Marlon Brando- Block the Island of Dr. Moreau from your mind….think of the good films Brando made as a chubster, The Godfather, Don Juan Demarco, Apocalypse Now, Superman.  He makes you want to peel grapes and feed em to him. Brando R.I.P. you sexy chubby thing you. 

2.  James Gandolfini- Two words. Tony Soprano. Nuff said.

1. Jack Nicholson -  Has it been 3 years since The Departed came out?  Jack still has it.  He’s always had it.  Even if he weren’t a brilliant actor, Jack would probably still have his way with the ladies.  I don’t think there’s a woman alive this man couldn’t charm.   Say what you will, you know you’d tote his heavy golf bag around in 108 degrees, using those stupid mini towels to wipe his sweaty brow, or light his cigars just to smell his breath.  Rock on Jack.